Hello. It’s me. I’ve been gone for quite a while, not sure how long, but long enough for people to forget me, I imagine.
Things have been rough, hence my absence. It’s strange. In spite of the fact that I like to write, and find that I can help me, the problem is that when I am overwhelmed with life struggles I can’t put a coherent sentence together.
2016 has been a very, very, very difficult year. Bad years have come before but this one….THIS ONE, has raged where others have only roared.
Loss. Deep, unfathomable loss, has been the theme this year. The kind that rips your heart and soul apart, leaving the pieces scattered like fallen leaves. It came in waves…1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
The death knell sounded five times. Five. Times. Five messages. He’s dead. The baby is gone. He didn’t make it. She was killed. He’s passed away….
All death is awful. Any word of the last moments of a family member or close friend is painful. However, among this group of five was one that has left me dumbstruck. My brother-in-law. Quite frankly, he as no “in-law” to me, as our relationship was so much like blood brother and sister. I knew him as a teenage boy when I married his brorher, and I watched him grew into a handsome man. I won’t bother to go over his virtues. It sounds too much like an obituary. Suffice it to say he made a huge impact on the space he occupied.
He was 35.That’s not nearly enough time here on earth to warrant being taken away. And I keep trying to find an answer to the question WHY. I haven’t received one, or at least not one that satisfies my aching heart, my broken soul.